“oopsie.”

how much better we would all be if we admitted our mistakes?

i was listening to my friend and thay thích nhất hạnh this morning while i prepared my coffee and readied my day. i am near finishing yet another series of lectures by him entitled “Body and Mind are One”. in this part, thay, as friends call him, is speaking on how we all require liberation from something. liberation is a freedom from attachment of your feelings and emotions. while there are dozens of concentrations in buddhism, of which thay is a revered zen master, he mentions that there are three that are universe: preliminary, access, and fixed. each are an embodiment of a greater samadhi (concentration).

i want you to think of yourself three-hundred years from now. are you worried about what you are worried about now? how does concentrating on three-hundred years from now change how you see the present moment? how can you learn from this meditation to let impermanence shape your reality?

i have been re-reading Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life in preparation for our upcoming rabbit rabbit book club on the piece. i find myself voraciously scribbling notes in the margins of pages, highlighting phrases that feel new, and jotting down discussion points. i am thinking of you always. i am thinking of your answers to my questions. these are answers i do not need to hear, i only wish for yourself to ask yourself and find an answer you have peace about.

i only ask in addition to the question that once you find your answer, do not hold on to it for too long. make sure to let it go. we need to let go of suffering to feel joy. we need to let go of joy to experience suffering. we ned to find relief in the presence of both. this is the third option of existence.

i look forward to the conversations we will each find in our little lives.

absolutely doing my best,

murphy.
(they/them)

S/S 2023.